HUIXUANNN Wednesday, November 25, 2009
i ll make a damn quick one cause im very tired. and i still have to blog cause i want to rmb all these clearly. when i want to look back again, at least i know what are the things that really happened. so people who are unhappy after reading can jolly well close it. others dont know what the hell you have did. but you and me sure know it very clearly for the mistakes you did. they can say i treat you bad because they can see me restricting this and that. but what else do they know? they can only see the outside and then gossip. yes, people love to gossip. i know that. in the past, i only will bottle up my feelings to myself. but some things i cannot keep it anymore. i know what can be said here and what cannot. fine, i dont rake up the past.
okay. firstly, i prepared those things for your birthday, there wasnt even a "thanks" at all, until i asked. isnt that weird? even if its a friend you also will say thanks to them. and i prepared those super last minute. still have to look for all those baking stuffs and recipes from online. then after work faster go buy those items and shop for your present and then go home bake. somemore i didnt have my dinner. you think i not hungry and tired at all? my hands were all red from beating the mix. i still have to wake up as early as 620am and go to work? after that we went home and then out again to eat nyny. thats all we ever did. for birthday? it may not seem weird to you but its super weird to me. and after all my hard effort all these cannot even make you say thanks from your heart?
fine, if i dont talk about your birthday, i can talk about mine cant i? this is the saddest birthday i ever had except the outing with the gang. my bf doesnt celebrate birthday. my brother doesnt even care about my birthday anymore because he's got a son to care about. my dad dont even know its my birthday. (he does, after like 5days to a week, yet he doesnt give me any present) as a bf, you dont give me surprise jiu suan le. there's not even a birthday present from you. we didnt even like really celebrate. all we did was to go for movies. THAT'S ALL. can you imagine what my birthday will be like if i was not out w gang? furthermore, when i was out with them, i wasnt really happy at all. i dont have ANY mood to be happy and i am very tired. i hope, pray and wished for surprise to come, but there wasnt any at all on my birthday. do you know how sad i was? i still had to cry on my birthday. people cry cause they are overyjoyed, but i cry cause im disappointed.
for 23587902382x time, i wish i could die because there wasnt people who really care. even my dad doesnt know my birthday?! how sad can i be? for some people, maybe i am fortunate already to have gang to celebrate w me. but then, the closest people dont even cele w me, much to say present.
and even if bf really owe present, i never know can owe until so long. its been 2 weeks. and for godness sake, you dint even buy yet. i think i can prepare to give up on that le.
okay. enough of that. no present jiu suan le, you dont even mean what you say. its not first, its dont know how many 29371239123th time. today we stopped texting each other because of a repeating incident. i have already told you about it before. since you dont care, then fine. i shall not care anymore too. im sick and tired of it. you think i really love to care about it so much. just do what you deem fit.
its not a quick one anymore. this takes an hour. fuck.
9:13 PM