HUIXUANNN Saturday, December 19, 2009
Update:19 December 2009, Saturday
urgh, people around me are going overseas. zzzzz. this is sickening. LOL. i want to go too. i wna go taiwan + korea + japan. wna go buy loads of clothes from taiwan, go around and explore korea, and tokyo!! (: dont have $ to go right now. everything need save $.
im really gna work hard & save more $. everything needs $ badly. urgh. i wanted to go work part time and have fyp at e same time, but then its like so hard. i dont want my body to overwork. if not im gna be sick and obviously when you overwork your body your lifespan gna be shorter and ll have more health problems. LOL.
gna save up for Uni now. I guess i really have to control my spending le. this few months have been spending $ like unlimited paper. lol. i need to get some spare $ to invest to somewhere too. if not just by saving up its gna take me ages. gg to SIM is so damn ex.
oh yes, and i have been tolerating some matters for some time. i really hate it. really, im super fucked up with it. i dont want to let others decide how im suppose to live my life. i know, sometimes its unavoidable in the society, but i dont think this is necessary for close people to decide for me, without asking my opinions, they just thought they can decide for me. why should i let you decide for me? im not dead, not invisible, not air. i can decide for myself. although i admit, in the past i usually decide based on relationships. i can just give in to others if they are close to me. i dont mind eating just fries while they are eating things that i dont. i dont mind because we're close. i dont mind to give in to everybody who is close with me. friends are important to me. but as i grow, i realise, sometimes people just take it for granted, dont appreciate, and all. this is why, i have now try not to give in to people who dont deserve.
i can treat you really well, but if you dont appreciate then get lost. i dont want to care much for you anymore. people do hate it when they have different treatment back to them. especially when its so much worse. i do too, not exceptional. especially on human relationships, im very careful about this. if its a few times, i dont mind, but please not all the time. it really makes me sick.
sighs. im at home all day again. boredness. /: need do writings later. S: andandand i really really want to take up singing + dance. sighs. you know what? i've been thinking about co since that day i met laoshi at shopping arcade. i feel sad. esp when he ask me if i did go to the concert. lol. im saying the truth. im not scare to say it out. its not i dont want to go. its someone dont want me to go, and tell me the tickets are only for performers, i cannot go. i know its bullshit, i just dont want argue with you anymore only. i can get tickets from elsewhere, not neccessary have to be from you. its just that im lazy to fight on for it. what for man? since you so dont want to see me there, so be it. you really think i want to go? its not because of you, that i want to go. its because of conductor, of the passion i have for music that i want to go and watch that concert.
its not because i dont like co, or im lazy thats why i dont turn up for co. its because of some people. i know, they are having loads of fun, because they only include their own clique. thats why, me and sharon and others will feel this co is shit, cause they dont even care about you. they only have their own fun. its not like sec sch co. everybody gathers and bond tgt. i know its hard to gather all and whatever. but you still have to make the effort to, because you guys are the only ones that can bond everybody. but its not the case. i feel that its pathetic. to have so many different cliques in co. i very much wanted to go back, but theres no attraction for me to go back there. there will only be more conflicts i guess, so what for i go back and make everybody unhappy? doesnt make sense to me. perhaps its just fated that we will not click, i will wait for other opportunities. if there's none, i still can join other dance & sing classes. i love music, and since co's not the way out for me, then its gotta be some other way.
stop blogging for now. i need to do other things.
Update: oh yes, i frgt to mention, i bought a shoe from online shopping. its from korea. ordered and pay le. so scary. S: like to count $, think can be accountant or cashier. haha. LOL. and sometimes i wished that $ was mine. ._. but i wont resort to stealing. LOL! check this out. (:
nice right??!?!?!andandand shuhui & stef haven send me photos we've taken yet. urgh. and i keep forget to "blow" them. ._. sianded. k, gotta do other things. (:
4:40 PM